PAVED Arts Executive Director Laura Margita (right) with impersonator. Stock Photo.

Over a recent dinner at EE Burritos, Saskatoon media art personalities became locked in a dramatic round of cultural one-upmanship regarding who was less familiar with popular media.

“So, who’s this Lady Gaga?” began visiting artist Robyn Moody, his inquiry met by blank stares.

Attentions soon turned to the lingering Olympic spectacle. “I haven’t watched a single bit of it,” added another, “but I saw the most fascinating Žižek lecture on Youtube last night…”

“I don’t even have tv or a computer at my house,” retorted PAVED Arts Executive Director Laura Margita, as she squinted in perplexity at the screen above her table.

Milena Placentile & Emily Falvey are spearheading efforts to take National Gallery of Canada Director Marc Mayer to talk over anti-diversity comments. Take a look & sign here: Excellence at the National Gallery of Canada

We are a growing collective of cultural producers from Canada and abroad concerned with the outrageous and blatantly anachronistic policy of exclusion recently asserted by the Director of the National Gallery of Canada, Marc Mayer, during an interview aired as part of a segment on Diaspora Art on CBC’s “The National” on February 2, 2010. We are seeking a detailed response to the egregious statements issued by Mr. Mayer, including corrective action.

How many visitors to the national gallery does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two. One to do it and one to say “Huh! My four-year old could’ve done that!”

How many members Instant Coffee does it take to change a lightbulb ?
All six: one to change it and five to work the bar.

How many relational aestheticists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one: She’ll ask members of the public to do it for her.

(I recorded these last summer for a new project by Shari Hatt, Photographer of Choice for celebrities and their dogs.)

Fun Fact: As a student Gazzola posed nude for Canadian photographer Evergon. The unidentified photos are now said to be in the collection of the National Gallery of Canada.

Bart, is that you? Image: Evergon, Pic-a-Wic Wrestlers, 1990, from the Ramboys Series

If I was in Toronto this week, I’d definitely go see ArtStars* vs. the Art Fag. As much as I hate endlessly debating the state of art criticism, I also love it. I’ve been a faithful fan of the Art Fag’s anonymous but pointedly smart art bitching for years, and I can’t wait to see who he is.

In the mood for some schadenfreude? Don’t miss blogger Diana Poulsen up against Artist/Curator Angela Grossmann re: Grossmann’s call for submissions at Vantage Art Projects. Accusations of scammery suspectness, public resignations, and a great vacuous silence from Vantage are the highlights of this cringe-worthy story. Hamilton blogger Stephanie Vegh has some good thoughts on the whole mess.

Guests packed the small gallery to hear Cuthand speak about the two bodies of work in the show: Cardston, Alberta 1959-1967, a series of paintings inspired by Cuthand’s childhood experiences living in the small, racist Mormon community, and Dis-ease, her glittery but discomforting beadwork series of bacteria and viruses brought from Europe to North America with colonization.

Above: Artists Wally Dion, Ruth Cuthand, Rebecca Belmore and Osvaldo Yero stop for a photo.

Above: Partygoer Danielle Raymond eyes up Scarlet Fever.

Yero & Belmore (who represented Canada at the 2005 Venice Biennale) arrived in Saskatoon last week to do undisclosed work with a local arts organization. Painter/mixed media artist & favourite local son Dion made the rounds while young art students fanned themselves near the fogged front windows of the space. Mendel Art Gallery Executive Director & CEO Vincent Varga was also on hand, no doubt scoping the goods for Cuthand’s upcoming retrospective. The artists ended the night with an autograph session.

Above: “Ruth: if it wasn’t for you — I might be doing less well as a famous Artist. Wally.”

Manitoba + Saskatchewan

Last summer, Ottawa’s National Arts Centre quietly announced Prairie Scene 2011, the latest in their biannual series of regionally-based multidisciplinary festivals. I can’t wait to see how it all plays out, sitting Manitoba’s self-depricating but dominant gothic at the table with Saskatchewan’s canola-fried boosterism.

While you’re at it, check out Saskatchewan vs. Manitoba pavillions at the Olympics.

Sources inside the AGA tell us that in January, Exhibitions Manager Anthea Black travelled to Germany, France and Great Britain to “oversee the shipping” of pieces for the “Degas” exhibition, including the contested Little Dancer. Throughout her whirlwind journey, Black was apparently escorted by two Swiss men — one who drove, and one who carried a machine gun. Why would Black’s expedition require such heavy security? I’ll leave that up to your imagination…

Stimson set to bring fabulousness overseas.

Saskatoon-based performance artist Adrian Stimson has been chosen to take part in the Canadian Forces Artist Program.

The CFAP takes Canadian artists on tour with active-duty military personnel; artists are given the opportunity to see and experience everyday military life — and then make art about it. As you can imagine this is excellent PR for the Forces, which has been buddying up with artists since just after WWI.

Stimson, currently in residency at the Banff Centre, is well-known as his campy, flamboyant performance persona Buffalo Boy. Sources tell Cooler Stimson is currently in negotiations with military air transport authorities to accommodate the estimated seven trunks of fur, beads and feather boas he requires for the two week trip.

After the outrageous success of Cooler at Visualeyez in September 2009, I’ve decided to keep it going… I just can’t deny people their fix.

Cooler is harm reduction for the art gossip addict — featuring the best, juiciest art gossip from visual, performance and media art. You no longer have to spend hours trolling Tumblr, sifting through Jen McMackon’s tweets, or trying to parse passive-aggressive Facebook status updates: Cooler brings the dirt straight to you.

Todd Janes and April Dean dancing at Visualeyez' Closing Night Party

Those are live lobsters on Lori's head.

“Welcome to the Federal Bureau of Forgiveness. Please sign your name and wait until your number is called,” attendees were greeted as they passed Latitude’s front desk. One at a time, Weidenhammer’s lovely assistant, me, escorted participants to a darked desk, where they were asked questioned: “Have you ever killed a crustacean? What do you most regret?” and then forgiven. They were assigned a new name and vocation, then given a celebratory cupcake as the assembled crowd sang “Happy Re-birthday To You”.

“She’s like a fairy godmother!” one girl exclaimed, licking frosting from her cupcake, which was supplied by Sobey’s.

“I can’t stop looking at her chest!”, Festival Curator Todd Janes whispered to anyone who would listen.

Interesting Fact: The Edmonton Pride Week Society named their annual award for bisexuals after Janes.

Julliana Barabas constructed a tent out of several plinths and, yes: Days Inn bedsheets. My curiosity was piqued when the Barabas’ first audience emerged looking like contestants in a wet t-shirt contest. Inside, Barabas invited participants to perform four actions with water: bubble, gurgle, steam and melt. Luckily, following my own experience I emerged safe and dry, albeit with soaking wet socks.

Interesting Fact: Barabas claims she is sometimes mistaken for a satanist because of her last name. She’s not!

Kamacho arrived at the park at noon with a wheelbarrow full of tiny glass bottles, labeled with the words Love and Gratitude. First, she said a few words about her project and distributed the bottles (ostensibly filled with water) to the assembled crowd of artists and guests. Then it was time to take it to the public.

What's really in the bottles?

Kamacho would take two bottles and disappear into the hills of the park, in search of friendly strangers. Often, we lost track of her, only to see her reemerge from behind a bush 10 minutes later with a big smile on her face.

“She’s giving some to everyone in the park,” said animator Lori Weidenhammer, “and suggesting they use the contents for a special occasion.”

Todd Janes was overheard telling gallery Program Officer April Dean that the Days Inn may not be so forgiving this festival. “Noone who needed sheets and towels for their performance remembered to bring them from home,” Janes lamented. He added, “One of the bathrooms was totally unusable. WHY did they have to bring the pigs’ blood back to the hotel? I’ve never seen anything…” (His voice trailed off, my source reports, as Janes was overcome with sobs.)

Who does it belong to?

This amazing concoction was seen not 15 minutes ago in the Latitude 53’s kitchen. It appears to be a martini glass full of pineapple-coconut-banana yogurt with an embedded cinnamon sugar donut. Who could have created this astonishing concoction?

One of the artists? Or a stressed-out staff? HINT: It wasn’t me.

Please leave any tips or clues in the comments.